Women’s rugby player Meredith Sirrs supports open mental health dialogues

In Meredith Sirrs' own words, she wouldn't be here without rugby.

The fourth-year member of the Gee-Gees women's rugby team has dealt with depression and anxiety since the eighth grade. 

In the ninth grade, she discovered rugby.

"When I was in grade nine, those were some of the darkest times of my life," said Sirrs. "I really think rugby was something that was brought into my life for a reason. It gave me a sense of purpose and it was the reason I was able to get out of bed for so many years.

"It saved me, it honestly did."

An Ottawa product who attended Colonel By Secondary School, Sirrs advocates the benefits of having open dialogues about mental health.

"Whenever someone wants to talk about mental illness, I think about the quote, 'be the person you needed when you were younger.' When I was younger, I needed someone that would validate my feelings and would make me feel heard and seen. So now I'm passionate about talking about it." 

Sirrs says the women's rugby program does an outstanding job supporting one another away from the pitch. Her teammates are often the first people she turns to when in need of support.

"What I've found is our team has done a really great job at trying to understand mental health and mental illness," she said. "Our coach and our team have developed a culture where I feel supported. Having people to rely on is extremely helpful and it's easier said than done." 

She had watched the University of Ottawa women's program closely since she began playing in high school. The Conflict Studies and Human Rights student still has the email from head coach Jen Boyd, inviting her to try out for the team.

"They had the right program and the right environment," said Sirrs, who also starred with the Ottawa Irish Rugby Club. "I couldn't picture myself playing for any other team."

A prop, Sirrs' Gee-Gees career has been memorable thus far, winning a pair of RSEQ Championships and medalling three times at the U SPORTS National Championship. She also earned the 2019 Leadership and Citizenship award from the RSEQ and was named to the 2021 National Championship All-Star team.

Her third year on the team was unique and challenging, with the 2020 RSEQ women's rugby season being cancelled due to COVID-19. However, the program was extremely active.

The team met virtually since March, holding everything from workouts to book clubs. They started their own task force for equity and diversity, and created a dialogue about inclusivity with other varsity programs.

Looking back on those months away from the pitch, Sirrs says the social isolation of the pandemic was difficult to manage.

"When the world stopped last spring, everything from grade eight onward came back to the surface, and it was a very dark time for me. It came to a point where I needed to get help. I reached out to a therapist and met with a psychiatrist. 

"Looking back now, you think you have it all figured out, and you never really do. I'm definitely in a very different place from when I first started to experience mental health issues."

Sirrs encourages all young people to have self-compassion, especially student-athletes.

"One of the biggest things I have learnt and discovered through my mental health journey is that your worth is not determined by your productivity," said Sirrs. "For a lot of student-athletes, our feelings and emotions can easily be invalidated because we're high-functioning.

"People think our outer world is the same as our inner world. You can be high functioning and still live with mental illness and people struggle perceiving that."

She also knows that her teammates and staff with Gee-Gees women's rugby will be there if she needs support, and she'll be there for them.

"I texted this to my coach the other day, 'some days, if doing nothing is the best you can do, that's ok. If you still made it through another day, that alone takes a lot of strength.'"